Uncle Alfred arrived in rehab and we´re talking over the phone at least every second day. I´m looking forward to spending time with him in fall because we get along great.

I´ve answered Ben´s letter and I would be glad to hear from him again. After all, he was my first love and I still care about him a lot. I hope that he will manage to get his life back into order and I will support him as much as possible.

Hopefully, it has been nice to read my blog! For me, it was a great way to express everything that was going on during the past month and it helped me deal with my memories and experiences. I will certainly keep on writing even though not as frequently as I did up until this point.

xxx Rachel xxx

… one last view out of the window into the garden with those ancient trees…

… one last lunch on the porch…

wow. I will seriously miss this, but most of all I will miss the silence. Hardly any cars, no planes and no ambulances in the middle of the night. Maybe, one day, I will come back here and live in this town as an old lady with a couple of cats.

From what a nurse told me today, I might have to come back in 2 months or so and help my uncle get back to his daily routine. I will definitely do that if my boss allows me to take a holiday again. I told Anne about my departure and she has invited me to come over for another barbecue tonight. I start getting the feeling that she and her husband have barbecue every other night because whenever we talk, they are doing so… *lol*

I´m glad that we revived our friendship, especially since it was sort a coincidence that we met and arrange to do something together. We will keep in contact from now on for sure!

Here is an excerpt from the letter:

I´m not sure what to think of it, yet. I don´t want to lose him again after we´ve just met, but it seems to me like his life is really mixed up. I don´t want to make his situation any worse by reminding him of a time that affected him so much and still does…

On the one hand, I´m happy about that because I get to leave this town for now, but I´m also sad because it means that I will leave once again, not knowing when I´ll be back. There is so much stuff that I feel like I should be dealing with before going back, but I can´t tell how long that would take and after all, I have my friends and a job waiting for me in California.

One thing I know for sure though is that I do no longer want to forget everything that happened here. I´ve been repressing my past for too long and I have to admit that it´s a part of my life. Looking at Ben´s life (which is another thing I would like to have the time to deal with) shows me how lucky I was to get out of the whole drug thing in time.

Jess is going to leave tomorrow and I will follow either on Monday or Tuesday.

Of course, we have spent a lot of time discussing my past. She had so many questions, but she wasn´t mad at me for not talking about it (thank God for that!). I hope that I could make her understand everything.

I showed her round the city which is, of course, not all that exciting since there isn´t much to see. Now, she knows the school I went to, the house I grew up in and the places where I used to hang. Then we went to the supermarket and she prepared food while I visited my uncle. He´s getting better every day and our relationship is very much like it used to be. In fact, he was always the family member that I felt the closest to because he never judged me and saw the best in me. Even now, he doesn´t give me a hard time for not having contacted him such a long time, but he just seems glad that I´m with him now.

The food that Jess had prepared was so delicious and I haven´t eaten that good in a while, because (I have to admit it) I´m not the best cook and whenever I try (!) anyway, it usually ends up ‘not so well’

We had a salad and then self-made chicken wings with croquettes. The dessert was awesome, too, but I can´t remember the name. It was something in French, tasted like strawberries and it is definitely something I could eat as breakfast, lunch and dinner… Every day!!

Jess in in bed already because she had to get up early in order to catch the plane. Tomorrow we will just have a lazy day and talk and have fun. That´s going to be fun.

The principal of the school he teaches at has informed his parents that he came back last night. He said that he would not remember what happened to him, but he also didn´t seem hurt or drugged.

The mystery isn´t solved yet..

Was it meeting me again, that made him do this or would it have happened anyway?

It really shows how confused I was before I left home after the trial.

Just like she promised, my best friend Jess called me earlier and announced her visit. I´m excited about that and can´t wait till Thursday!!

wohoo